EPHESIANS 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
NSB* This paragraph has the beautiful balance we expect to find in God's Word: Children are to obey their parents, and parents are to treat their children in such a way that their children will want to obey. Children must obey their parents for Christ's sake, even if their parents are not believers. This is supported by one of the Ten Commandments followed by a promise (Duet. 5:16). Of course, Christian children (and wives)** should not do anything sinful even if their parents should command them to. In such a case children (and wives)** must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). Do not provoke: Parents should not be unreasonably severe with children or ridicule them.
Children; Strong's denotes - a child (as produced). a child" (akin to tikto, "to beget, bear"), is used in both the natural and the figurative senses. The Greek Word used here is τέκνον teknon. Vine's (def 1), Strong's G5043.
Obey; "to listen, attend" (as in Acts 12:13), and so, "to submit, to obey," is used of "obedience". Here it is used of parents by children. The Greek word is ὑπακούω hupakouo. Vine's (def B-1g) Strong's G5219.
Right; "just, righteous, that which is in accordance with" dike, "rule, right, justice," is translated "right". The Greek word is δίκαιος dikaios. Vine's (def B-1), Strong's G1342. Strong's denotes - equitable (in character or act); by implication, innocent, holy (absolutely or relatively).
My Notes - Qualifying the obedience and forbidding obeying parents at a point of being asked to sin. God's law is higher than any.
Moving to Verse 2.
Honor Your Father And Mother; Honor here means "to honor" (akin to A, No. 1), is used of, the duty of children to "honor" their parents. The Greek word here is τιμάω timao. Vines (def B-1(4)), Strong's G5091
First Commandment; Commandment means injunction, i.e. an authoritative prescription. The Greek word is ἐντολή entolē Strong's G1785.
With Promise; Promise here is primarily a law term, denoting a summons" (epi, "upon," angello, "to proclaim, announce"), also meant "an undertaking to do or give something, a promise." Strong's denotes - an announcement (for information, assent or pledge; especially a divine assurance of good) The Greek word is ἐπαγγελία epangelia. Vine's (def A-1), Strong's G1860.
Moving to Verse 3.
Live Long On The Earth; God not only restores and preserves concerning our spiritual lives but blesses those who obey him physically. Generally speaking, obeying God will actually prolong your life. I say generally speaking because there are certainly exceptions which is why Paul writes "may live long".
Moving to Verse 4.
Do Not Provoke; Provoke has the idea of to anger alongside, i.e. enrage. Vine's denotes "to provoke to wrath:". The Greek word is parorgizo παροργίζω. Vine's (def B-4), Strong's G3949.
Wrath; Wrath here is the same as the word provoke. So the original Greek would have read "do not παροργίζω your children to παροργίζω.
My Notes: It's fair to say the anger we see in our parents is most likely to produce more anger. Even if the anger isn't manifested immediately.
Deuteronomy 4:9 Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren,
In The Training; Instead of training the King James Version uses nurture. This has the idea of tutorage, i.e. education or training; by implication, disciplinary correction. The Greek word for "nurture" is παιδεία paideia. Strong's G3809. Vine's has the definition of this word under "Chasten" (def B-1).
Admonition Of The Lord; Admonition means lit., a putting in mind" (nous, "mind," tithemi, "to put"), is used in 1 Corinthians 10:11, of the purpose of the Scriptures; in Ephesians 6:4, of that which is ministered by the Lord; and in Titus 3:10, of that which is to be administered for the correction of one who creates trouble in the church. Nouthesia is "the training by word," whether of encouragement, or, if necessary, by reproof or remonstrance. In contrast to this, the synonymous word paideia stresses training by act, though both words are used in each respect. The Greek word for admonition is νουθεσία nouthesia. Vine's (def A-1), Strong's G3559.
Takeaways: 1. Just like all work done in Christ brings reward, so does obedience to parents in Christ.
2. If you disobey your parents when they are not asking you to sin, chances are you likely have some sort of issue with authority and will have problems submitting to righteous authority until you willfully repent changing your behavior.
3. Parenting absolutely should involve raising your children up to love the Lord. So we want to get them to church or have them in fellowship with other Christians which usually leads them to church. Parents who are not following God at home sometimes end up with kids that resent church and Christians so it is important that in the pursuit of raising children of God that we do not provoke our children but rather demonstrate love and behavior that makes them "want" to be involved in a pursuit of Christ.
*Nelson Study Bible
**My additions
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